+What steals my power?
March 8, 2002
Dear Artist,
A subscriber who wishes to remain anonymous wrote: "I am not always able to work.
I am restless and disturbed. I am often not happy with my work. What steals my
power?"
Most artists will admit that they have been on this spot. My solution is to take a look
at yourself and try to separate the perceived reasons from the real reasons. I've found
that the real reasons are often, but not always, lodged in a surprising spot: We are
minding other people's business when we should be minding our own. Some artists, even
highly realized, apparently motivated and successful ones have personal misgivings and
negative self-esteem--often based on envy and/or peer pressure.
Furthermore, the loss of power generally admits to some sort of fear: Fears are
balloons that float up in the mind and obstruct the free flow. Creative people need to dig
around in their personal list of fears. Float them out into the air--and pop them. Emerson
said: "He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a
fear." The following are multiple choice. There are more. Go for it.
Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of competition. Fear of play. Fear
of joy. Fear of work. Fear of plagiarism. Fear of learning something.
Fear of being an imposter. Fear of not being paid. Fear of being paid.
Fear of being ridiculed. Fear of being noticed. Fear of not being noticed.
Fear of being copied. Fear of making a mess. Fear of being wrong. Fear
of the unknown. Fear of commitment. Fear of getting excited. Fear of
wasting time. Fear of irrelevance. Fear of fear itself. Pop, pop, pop.
Best regards,
Robert
PS: "When we are angry or depressed in our creativity, we have misplaced our
power. We have allowed someone else to determine our worth, and then we are angry at being
undervalued." (Julia Cameron)
Esoterica: Having said all that, there is sometimes a small and hardly-noticeable error
or problem in the work itself that stops you dead. An inconsequential glitch can make you
unhappy, restless and disturbed. It's a blight on your landscape and it can keep you inert
for months. If left unchecked it might even convince you that you have a personality
disorder. It must be searched for, found, and then taken out and shot.
The following are selected responses to the above and other letters. Thank you for
writing rgenn@saraphina.com
+Bipolar artist
Funny, I've been awake a lot lately, and I thought that I should
write in to suggest a topic for you. And then I see this letter today. "I am not
always able to work. I am restless and disturbed. I am often not happy with my work. What
steals my power?" You address here, all of the "usual" things regarding the
above, and missed one. In a previous letter you talk about ADHD. I should have spoken up
then. How many artists are bipolar? I am. I wrestle with the fact that most of my work
comes out of a "functioning" manic state. In fact, if I'm on medication I
find that I have no desire to paint at all, so I don't take them. I'm currently barely
functioning, and it is taking me a huge effort to write this. Could you do a topic on
this? I'd like to see the responses of bipolar artists.
Terri Steiner, Princeton, MA elzireart@mac.com
(RG note) For further information and a confirmation of this please scroll down to the
end of this clickback to On Artists, Depression and Creativity by Chris
Tyrell.
+Painting is a refuge from fear
What timely, and good advice about fear. I find that it applies equally well to all
aspects of life. When I'm afraid of something and skirting around the issue, I often run
to painting to get my mind away from that thing until later, when things will come clear.
Often my painting is not a cause of fear, but a refuge from it.
Kim kahm@nexicom.net
+Life's an attitude
To the "restless and disturbed subscriber", Give Yourself A Break! "Our
power" to work is granted to us because of our aptitude to follow the artistic trail.
I say aptitude instead of talent because talent sometimes is perceived to be a gift we
don't have to work at to perfect. We are unique individuals and our aptitude can be in
music, engineering, architecture, business, people, etc. Creativity is in us all and is
fulfilled through our work and life. As we work, our skills improve so we are able to
present what we have to say in the most effective way. Usually the "power is
stolen" by "who" instead of "what" and that who could be anyone
in our life or even us. We may think that this trail is not worthy and we should get a
real job. If money is the issue, we do have to live. Hungry, homeless artists do not think
about their art. If we cannot yet make a living with the art we have to have some other
means until that happens. The fear to measure up is groundless if we express our true
artistic spirit. True creativity is never wrong and really cannot be judged one against
another. Only reality and the medium have rules. When it's personal expression of
reality, then the rules do not apply. We are free to paint purple oranges, pink cows, or
any abstracted thoughts we have. I believe art is the perception of universal order
expressed through mind and body to raise the spirits of humanity. Life's an attitude! Art
is an expression of life. Ideally, art as well as life should be the highest expression
possible from us as an individual.
Bobbie Kilpatrick, Texas, USA brkarts@pdq.net
+Take time out for reflection
I think there's more at work regarding "artist's block" than fear. There is a
naturally occurring pattern of ebb and flow in our work that we often fail to respect.
It's just as important to suck the dry times of their wealth, as the productive times.
They're just as rich. The ebb after a major show, for example, is a time to learn from the
body of work installed in a new light, catch up on reading, see some films, travel and
reflect on direction and goals. If you plow ahead mindlessly, the work becomes formulaic.
Better to fill your life with stimuli, art-related or not and return to the studio with
something genuine to say.
Cassandra James, Texas, USA cjstudio@texas.net
+Internal critic
Yes, yes, yes! Fears of all sizes and colors get in the way of our producing our best
authentic work. Here's one: Fear of not having enough acceptable work ready in time for a
show, enough work that will be consistent, and fear of looking like a fraud when it's all
hanging on the gallery walls. Three days ago I realized that I had lost my grasp on why I
would even want to paint in the first place. I decided--to hell with the show. I am going
to declare "time off" from the (perceived) pressure, and paint at least one
painting, just for the fun of it. I did have fun and the painting turned out not half bad.
I of course made up my mind, following this enjoyable and "successful"
experience, to keep painting from that place, to keep that same energy going no matter
what. Not so easy! Energy shifts, the mind chatters, but I shall persevere in keeping that
internal critic from raining on my parade.
Martine Gourbault gomargo@shaw.ca
+A way to keep going
There have been times in my life when there have been troubles in our family, and I have
wished to just stay in bed, pull the covers over my head and not do anything but feel bad.
I have found if I start something and just keep plodding along, after awhile I find I get
interested in it and things seem to come into being. Little by little I learn how to do
what I am trying to do. Once started I don't feel any worse and I begin to forget my
problems. I am able to keep going.
Bev Willis, Fresno, CA, USA willis@psnw.com
+Fear of missing out
Here's my personal problem as I see it: I want to try everything that comes along. I want
to paint, and collage, and sew, and do encaustic, and make jewelry. It's all good. It's
all fun. But I have the sense that if I don't settle down with something, that I'll never
be any good at any of it. Is that fear of commitment? Or am I fearful of missing out on
something if I don't try it? How does one find contentment with one medium?
Jennifer Jones jjones2@accessus.net
(RG note) Our universe is brimming with variety. To not explore as much as possible is
to deny life. Proficiency is another matter. Proficiency, if it is important to one,
requires a degree of focus and diligence. Mastering one or a few of the arts is also one
of the truly great highs. It's a matter of priorities. Priorities change.
"The world is so full of a number of things,
I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings."
(Robert Louis Stevenson)
+Contest
entries
Dragon Flute, Theresa Bayer, Austin, Texas claylark@earthlink.net
Leaves, Linda Rowe, Garland, Texas lvrowe3@airmail.net
Arbutus, Pat Hart pathart@islandnet.com
Swazi 3,Albert C. Reck, Mbabane, Swaziland
Cebollas, Micaela Olmos mxartmxart@hotmail.com
(RG note) The above are a few more of the 200 or so entries that have come
in since the contest was announced two weeks ago. They are not necessarily finalists in
the "Free Painting Workshop in Brittany with Robert Genn" contest. You can get
more information on this contest and workshop at http://www.painterskeys.com/workshops.htm
The contest is open until June 15, 2002. All finalists will receive a free copy of The
Painter's Keys book. The workshop takes place from September 20 to 30th,
2002. Cost of the workshop is US$2350. The Robert Genn information for Phil Levine
Workshops Inc. is at http://www.paintingfrance.com/Robert_Genn.htm
Please note that in the event that the winner of the contest has already signed up for
the Brittany Workshop, his or her deposits will be refunded and air transportation from
anywhere in the world will be looked after as well. Artists entering the contest who wish
to send regular photos of their work may send it to R Genn, 12711 Beckett Rd., Surrey, B
C. Canada, V4A 2W9. These will be scanned and transferred to our contest archive. Thanks.
þ
"The Laptop"
Sara Genn using the Laptop. This home-built easel is designed to take 11 x 14's which
fit into slots in the lid. The box can be custom made for any favorite small size and
while somewhat limited it's a nice change in or out of the studio. The other
limitation happened while snowboarding.
+On Artists, Depression and Creativity
I believe I can remember the onset of my midlife crisis. It seemed to me as though I had
reached a point in my life when my subconscious decided to reveal forgotten or repressed
memories of growing up. I remembered the confluence of events: my mother moved out of our
home permanently and into the hospital, I was adrift in a sea of strangers at a new
school, and puberty was kicking in. I started getting violent migraine headaches every
weekend, developed a titanic sleep disorder and thought I was going crazy.
When I mentioned anything about these recollected memories, friends would suggest I
seek some counseling and so I did. I saw a few different practitioners, trying to find the
right one. When a couple of them suggested taking pills on the short-term, I started
reading about anti-depressants. Not seeing anything to alarm me, and since it was for the
short-term, for a six month period I took one of the drugs in the Prozac family. I took
the pills but felt absolutely no effect during that time. It wasn't until I stopped taking
the drug that I felt something.
When I was finished with the antidepressant medication, I started writing thousands of
words and making art like there was no tomorrow-especially collages, which I hadn't done
since high school. That burst of creativity made me think.
I started reading about mood-altering drugs and the creative personality. While there
were a lot of articles about antidepressants in the media, it took some searching to find
articles which mirrored my experience-where the author or study subjects reported
decreased creative expression while medicated with antidepressants.
I recently ran into two colleagues from my past work in the visual arts. Each of them
had, since our work together, become a therapist. I jumped at the chance to discuss the
thesis emerging from my reading.
The Ph.D. thesis of Geraldine Brooks is Creative Labours: The Lives and
Careers of Women Artists. She is a Registered Psychologist in private practice
in Vancouver, Canada. Linda Findlay is also a private practitioner, and she is a
practicing visual artist with a strong exhibition history.
As therapists, and particularly as therapists specializing in the treatment of creative
people, these two women were predisposed to my thesis that therapy is better than drugs
for creative people, so I talked to them about themes in their practice with artists.
Ms. Findlay identifies "blocks" as her primary therapeutic concern.
"Creative blocks can lead to depression and low self-esteem, and that can perpetuate
or extend the creative block."
Dr. Brooks referred to themes of "being an outsider" (feeling alien, lonely,
or misunderstood, outside of the "norm"), of "validation from external
recognition," and of "obstruction" (sexism, self-doubt). She also mentioned
the value of therapeutic drugs on occasion and when appropriate for some individuals
seeking better mental health.
Several other themes were mentioned: The conflict between the needs of the artist
versus the needs of others, and the sense of "fighting" or a "struggle to
assume the identity of an artist." And there is the issue of "sensitivity."
"Many creative people have heightened sensitivity to the world around them,"
says Ms. Findlay. "This heightened awareness results in artists seeing many things in
their families and the world around them that others do not see or do not want to admit to
seeing." We often carry the burden of others.
Dr. Brooks on the issue of sensitivity: "So often the unique way creative people
look at the world is pathologized--that is, their peers or family see sensitivity as a
problem that needs to be fixed."
Dr. Brooks also points our that there are also positive themes such as the sense of
independence and freedom that comes with the creative lifestyle, and "the sense of
connection and belonging through art." Who of us doesn't feel that?
And when creative people suffer, some of us, sometimes, can channel our pain in
positive ways, using our pain as inspiration. (Remember Bob Geldof and the first rock
concert benefiting famine relief in Ethiopia?) Other creative people may work out their
feelings through their art. Some succumb to their depressions, and when this happens,
counseling can be valuable.
My reading has convinced me that artists should consider the role creativity plays in
their life before taking antidepressants. The drugs may decrease your creative motivation
and, with decreased motivation, you might cut yourself off from the creative expression
with which you are used to processing your emotions. I decided artists should opt for
counseling, and if counseling is sought, what better counselor could there be for a visual
artist than a counselor with a visual arts background?
Chris Tyrell ctyrell@shaw.ca from www.opusframing.com
Please feel free to comment on anyone's remarks. If you add your email address
right after your name at the end of your letter, we will include it. If you wish to write
incognito we will honor that too. All unused letters are carefully archived for possible
future use. We generally include ten or so letters in each "clickback" so you
can expect about the same amount of reading. Readers really appreciate it when you tell us
approximately where you are located. We edit most letters for clarity and brevity. We are
able to translate letters from most languages. Please address your letters to rgenn@saraphina.com
You may be interested to know that artists from every state in
the USA, every province in Canada, and at least 97 countries worldwide have visited these
pages since January 1, 2002. That includes Susan Taylor staylor@sfu.ca
who wrote: "I have a huge fear of light on lilies!" And Kim Hanewich kahm@nexicom.net who says: "Painting is not a
cause of fear, but a refuge from it." And Sib Sener sendertr@yahoo.com of Turkey, who writes: "I am
in fear of my exhibition which comes in the first week of April." And Garth Ng gng@ng.com who says: "My greatest fear is losing my
house."
To see additional contributions to the previous letter "The wiser eye,"
please click here
http://www.painterskeys.com/clickbacks/wisereye.htm
The twice-weekly letters are in Russian at http://painterskeys.narod.ru/
The twice-weekly letters are in French at http://www.painterskeys.com/fr/
|